Not a lot going on

[fangirl1981]

So I've been watching Corner Gas but just haven't mentioned it here before. I decided to remedy that by posting a bunch of quotes from the show.



[Brent and Hank are wearing the same shirt] Hank: "Look at us, we're identical!"
Brent:" We're not identical, I have different pants than you."
Hank: "Yeah, I don't even wanna get into your pants."
Brent: "You're not gonna with that kinda whining."

Brent: "That's right, Wes is nuts. This coming from a guy who once punched a skunk."
Oscar: "He had it comin'."

Brent: "I so don't believe you. My disbelief is like an iron fortress of disbelief... patrolled by Superman... and he doesn't believe you either."

Hank: "You can't just leave me here! It's like 10 miles to town!"
Davis: "It's your house, you'll live."
Hank: "All I have to eat here are pickles and Pop Rocks!"
Davis: "You'll probably live."

Fitzy: "It's time that Dog River joined the 20th century."
Karen: "Now we'll only be one century behind."

Davis: "Do you think my new cell phone is small?"
Karen: "I don't know."
Davis: "Brent's got a smaller one. I mean I wasn't looking at it on purpose, he had it out and I just glanced at it."
Karen: "Right."
Davis: "But mine is small right? I mean how small would you say is normal? You get an inaccurate idea because you see smaller ones in movies and magazines and stuff. But for a normal person's cell phone mine is small, smaller than average."
Karen: "I don't think anyone really cares as long as it works."

Brent: "It's not just you. Dad once got mad at a butterfly. Called it a 'sonofabitch' and told it to get out of his garden."

Brent: "But he's never even rented a video. He doesn't know what he's talking about."
Oscar: "I don't want to know what I'm talking about."

Brent: "What do you need loonies for, Dad?"
Oscar: "Let me answer your question with a question. Shut up."

Davis: "I don't know about the morality of putting an ATM in a store that sells insurance and booze. It might lead people to compulsively buy insurance."

Fitzy: "My campaign to promote Dog River is working! An American tourist has come here, accidentally."
Wanda: "If he came here accidentally, what does that have to do with your campaign?"
Fitzy: "Hey, can't argue with results."
Wanda: "Don't tell me what I can't argue with."

Brent: "He had a rooster on some kind of a roof, trying to see which side it would lay an egg on. I had no choice, I had to kick him out."
Wanda: "You got rid of the rooster."
Brent: "No, Hank. I wanted to keep the rooster. He was cleaner."

Davis: "You're just mad 'cause I made fun of your hairdo."
Karen: "You didn't make fun of my hairdo."
Davis: "I'll do it later. Get off my back."

Emma: "So, you can see, it's a fairly big responsibility, but that's what an executor is."
Hank: "Okay. So, where does the axe and the mask come in?"
Emma: "That's an executioner. That's something different."
Hank: "Right. So do I wear the mask or not?"

Oscar: "Without the ding, it's nothing! It's got no personality!"
Brent: "What? Are you kidding? Look at it, it's got personality up the wazoo."
Wanda: "You can't even have a wazoo without having some personality."

Brent: "I got a rip in my jeans."
Emma: "So you sat on the floor? Did I miss the crying, or is that still to come?"

Oscar: "I'm gonna make my own money!"
Emma: "Make money? You can't even make a sandwich."
Oscar: "So I put a loaf of bread in the dishwasher one time!"

Hank: "Let's get one thing straight; I work alone and I don't need some hot-shot whiz-kid telling me how to count people."
Oscar: "I know how it goes down."
Hank: "You don't know how it goes down! You don't even know when it goes down! It just went down, and you didn't even know it."

Hank: "Yup, census... it's a young man's game. You gotta watch your health; I mean, I almost choked on a pickle."
Brent: "I know, I was there."
Hank: "No, after that."
Brent: "You choked on another pickle?"
Hank: "No, same one."

Brent: "What's their definition of distinguished?"
Hank: "A woman who was on fire, and they put her out."
Lacey: "It's a woman who's distinguished herself."
Hank: "Oh, that's even harder."

Brent: "You want to buy thirty boxes of something?"
Hank: "How much?"
Brent: "Hundred and ten bucks."
Hank: "Nope. My turn. I was watching a TV show last night, and they showed how people make those UFO crop circles."
Brent: "Interesting. A hundred even, that's less than my cost."
Hank: "Look, I don't want to buy a bunch of... what's in the boxes again?"
Brent: "Probably something awesome."
Hank: "Damn! I would, but I'm broke."